Drizzt Do'Urden (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
naturaltwohands) wrote2016-08-28 09:40 am
naturaltwohands) wrote2016-08-28 09:40 amQuotes of Torment
Quotes and words I have said mostly to cause pain for finding_honor_in_darkness.
finding_honor_in_darkness.naturaltwohands) wrote2016-08-28 09:40 am
finding_honor_in_darkness.
RANDOM THOUGHTS ON REUNION
Re: RANDOM THOUGHTS ON REUNION
RANDOM JOURNAL QUOTES
The Academy
It was, Zaknafein, I must believe, my teacher. Through the experiences of Zak’s long years, which embittered him and cost him so much, I came to hear the screams, the screams of protest against murderous treachery, the screams of rage from the leaders of drow society, the high priestesses of the Spider Queen, echoing down the paths of my mind, ever to hold a place within my mind. The screams of dying children.
Drizzt Do’Urden”
Excerpt From: Robert Anthony Salvatore. “Homeland.”
THINGS DRIZZT KNOWS (often from his father)
That his life is the most precious thing to Zaknafein.
No seriously, Zak loves him more than anything. He knows this. He knew this long before Zak resisted Malice's control while under Zin-carla long enough to jump into the acid pits with the cry of "For us!"
Although he has not thought of it in detail, Drizzt will know immediately, should the thought occur, that Zak could not survive his death. Drizzt barely survived losing Zak twice, but losing Drizzt once will destroy Zak entirely. It is only for this reason that Zak is the only person who can put Drizzt's safety first without extreme amounts of protest from Drizzt.
He is the only one that Drizzt did not want to change places with, knowing that if he had died instead of his father, that his father's spirit would have died with him. Drizzt does not put enough value on himself, but he knows that Zak places value on him more than anything else in the world.
Because Zak is his father, and that is what fathers do. They love their children more than life itself and would give their lives to protect them.
Drizzt also knows that Zak has likely never had the chance to love another like he loves Drizzt. That the days they spent together training weren't just Drizzt's best memories of Menzoberranzan, but were likely the best memories of Zak's entire life. Which brings us to the next bit of knowledge.
[CW: Sexual Assualt] That Zak was a tormented soul.
Drizzt knows that his father hated Menzoberranzan and everything that it stood for, but that he was understandably too scared to leave the place. Everything else was an unknown... A terrifying unknown. Drizzt only had the courage to leave because of Zaknafein—and because Guenhwyvar was by his side. Now, years later, after having barely survived the Underdark, Drizzt knows that Zaknafein would not have survived it. It's also troubling, because Drizzt knows he was born because Zak did not flee.
He does not fully understand the pains that Zak went through that resulted in his birth. He knows that it wasn't mutual, and even Vierna outright mentioned it to him. Drizzt, like many children, does not want to really think about his parents having sex. Unlike most children, it is because he's effectively the result of Zak having no ability to consent. Rape, in other words. He doesn't go down that road of thought, partially because he doesn't want to, and partially because even if he ran away from the situation himself, more than once, it's normalized. And he doesn't want to think of how awful it must have been.
Also because he knows, even though he has never thought of it consciously, that his father would have done it all again if it meant that Drizzt would exist.
His father was chased by the sounds of dying children, often killed during House Wars or possibly sometimes just because. Zak had mentioned it to Drizzt, more than once, and Drizzt now understands just how significant those words were. Drizzt knows that his father had an innate love for children, and that in another world and life, his father would have been, well, a wonderful father with a loving wife and surrounded by children. Or maybe even someone who ran an orphanage after retiring from his years of adventuring. Fantasies that can never be reality, but fantasies that Zak would have entirely deserved.
Drizzt mourns the loss of what could have been. What kind of drow would his father had been if he had not suffered centuries in a society that did not match what was in his heart? How different Zaknafein would have been! Zak would have been smiling more often than not, he tells himself. Sometimes during a moment of kindness of another towards himself, Drizzt wonders how wonderful his father would have felt receiving it. Drizzt was his only friend. What would it have been like if Zak could have met all of Drizzt's friends! How happy he would have been to know that his son was loved.
Except he does know, Drizzt tells himself. Somewhere, he is watching and smiling. It's sometimes the only thought that keeps Drizzt together when he thinks upon his father when his thoughts take a darker turn. That his father promised that he was at peace. That his father was happy that he had the courage to flee, and that he fought well.
How lonely his father must have been! Drizzt knows he had been afraid that Drizzt would be destroyed by Melee-Magthere. If only he could tell his father that he was the one who had given Drizzt the knowledge and strengths he needed to survive the Academy and disassemble the lies before they could truly take root. Maybe the knowledge would have reassured his tormented soul, if only a little, to know how he had been able to protect his son, even from afar.
Drizzt also wished he could have taught Zak the word "love". It doesn't exist in the drow tongue, but they both felt it strongly for the other. Zaknafein was the first person that Drizzt loved so deeply that losing him burned a permanent hole in his heart.
There are so many thing that Drizzt wishes he could tell his father. He wishes he could tell his father just how important he was. But be couldn't. Soon after he was starting to realize just how important his father was—that his father was even his father at all!—Zaknafein was dead. Less than twelve hours after they had opened their hearts to each other after nearly killing each other, both believing that the other had fallen to evil, Zaknafein was sacrificed to the Spider Queen by Drizzt's mother Malice, Matron of House Do'Urden. Drizzt never got to tell his father what he meant to him, what he did for him.
It's one of Drizzt's greatest laments: that his father cannot hear his words of love. That Drizzt cannot thank his father for what he did for him. And, most painfully, that there is not a thing that Drizzt can do for him now, save for one thing that he feels is too small in comparison to what torments Zaknafein must have felt throughout his life.
Drizzt lives his life to the fullest, surrounds himself with friends, and fights for the forces of good and to protect those that cannot protect themselves. It is the only thing he can do now. The ranger knows and fears that will never be enough.
Random Book Quotes of Pain
Homeland: Zak looking over the city while Drizzt is on patrol
Would Zak ever find the answer to the dilemma of the youngest Do’Urden? he wondered. Zak knew that he could not leave the house Matron Malice was keeping a very close eye on him. She sensed his anguish over Drizzt, Zak knew, and she most definitely did not approve. Zak was often her lover, but they shared little other than that.
Zak thought back to the battles he and Malice had fought over Vierna, another child of common concern, centuries before. Vierna was a female, her fate sealed from the moment of her birth, and Zak could do nothing to halt the assault of the Spider Queen’s overwhelming religion.
Did Malice fear that he might have better luck influencing the actions of a male child? Apparently the matron did, but even Zak was not so certain if her fears were justified even he couldn’t measure his influence over Drizzt.
He peered out over the city now, silently watching for the patrol group’s return, waiting, as always, for Drizzt’s safe return, but secretly hoping, that his dilemma would be ended by the claws and fangs of a lurking monster.”
Excerpt From: Robert Anthony Salvatore. “Homeland.”
[CW: Sexual Content, mention of Sexual Assault] Homeland: Drizzt leaving the ceremony and Malice/Zak
Vierna then was beside him, her robe opened casually in the front. Drizzt, his head clearing, began to wonder about the price of his actions. The look on his sister’s face, he noted with still more confusion, was not one of scorn.
"You prefer privacy." she said, her hand resting easily on Drizzt’s shoulder. Vierna made no move to close her robe. "I understand." she said.
Drizzt grabbed her arm and pulled her away. "What insanity is this?" he demanded.
Vierna’s face twisted as she came to understand her brother’s true intentions in leaving the ceremony. "You refused a high priestess!" she snarled at him. "By the laws, she could kill you for your insolence."
"I do not even know her." Drizzt shot back. "I am expected to…"
"You are expected to do as you are instructed!"
"I care nothing for her." Drizzt stammered. He found he could not hold his hands steady.
"Do you think Zaknafein cared for Matron Malice?" Vierna replied, knowing that the reference to Drizzt’s hero would surely sting him. Seeing that she had indeed wounded her brother, Vierna softened her expression and took his arm. "Come back," she purred, "into the room.There is still time."
Drizzt’s cold glare stopped her as surely as the point of a scimitar.
Excerpt From: Robert Anthony Salvatore. “Homeland.”
RANDOM FACTS
Journey to Tarterus
It's official name is Carceri and it seems to not exist in later versions. They got stuck in the 4th layer, Colothys. Drizzt knew they were doomed but tried to fake that he knew what to do so his friends wouldn't despair.
SPEECH QUOTES - for studying speech patterns
no subject
Excerpt From: Salvatore, R.A. “The Halfling's Gem.” Wizards of the Coast, 1990-01.
JUST RANDOM QUOTES
Passage to Dawn: Why Drizzt needs a Bath
Drizzt didn’t mind. He loved the feel of the spray and the wind, the smell of the brine. This was freedom, flying, skimming the water, skipping the waves. Drizzt’s thick white hair flipped in the breeze, billowing like his green cape behind him, drying almost as fast as the water soaked it. Splotches of white caked salt could not lessen the luster of his ebony skin, which glistened with wetness. His violet eyes sparkled with joy as he squinted at the horizon and caught a fleeting glimpse of the sails of the ship they pursued.
************
The smell of the man nearly overwhelmed the captain, who was accustomed to powerful body odors. There wasn’t much opportunity to bathe on a ship at sea and the Sea Sprite was often out for tendays, even months, at a time. Still, the combination of cheap wine and old sweat gave this one a particularly nasty flavor that made Deudermont scrunch up his face, even put a hand over his nose to try to intercept some of the fumes.
Excerpts From: Salvatore, R.A. “Passage to Dawn.”